I have this penchant for making babies cry. I love to make their innocent life traumatic. I feel happy seeing them adjitated and scared when i stick my tounge out at them or stare at them with eyes wide open. I love them when they are madungis and gusgusin (dirty and smelly).

But it hit me just now. It feels like the strangest thing ever. Everytime i see a baby however it looks like( cute or not) i want to see them happy, make them smile or say those funny words only they can understand. I even find them cute and cuddly. What's happening to me?

Am i starting to like babies? Even my kid brother who i constantly pester got this weird feeling that everytime he assumes i would make him kulit, i wont. Now his having withdrawal symptoms with my pestering.

Maybe because im a hands on Ninang(Godmother) to my inaanaks or maybe because i realized that im making my brother's life a nightmare when dealing with me. I dont know. I think ill just accept that fact that im changing for the better.

Maybe the kid in me wants to grow up now and become an adult but i can still feel its fighting the war inside me to stay a kid forever. Maybe im just readying myself to act like a normal 26 year old person. Too many questions. I wish myself luck.

For the better...and beyond!!!!