Its in the malls. I can feel it at times when i walk home. Its creeping slowly and im accepting it with the same love hate feeling i had when i was growing up. So its Christmas once again. Out the superficial stuff of making an effort to be jolly and nice. Oh my gosh! Whats wrong with me? I think its the Grinch in me talking.

So its the Ber months again and somehow Jose Mari Chan's songs doesnt bother me anymore. I sometimes catch myself humming it. Maybe, just maybe something is changing me in. Is it because im going to be a mother? But i still dont want the kid in me to disappear. Maybe it wont. Maybe it would just let the mommy in me see through the gauze covered reality of my life.

Tonight when i arrived home i saw RooRoo's baby clothes all ironed and stacked in his hamper. I felt that we are just playing house with a little kid along the way and not a make believe pillow in my tummy. Am i scared? A little. Am i excited? So much.

I used to think that growing up would be so complicated thats why i decided not to grow up but of course reality stepped in and i soon realized that i have to move on. Maybe Roo would be the reason of living a purpose driven life. Maybe everyday when i wake up i wouldnt live a monotonous, hurried and contradicting life i now live in. Would a baby change everything? I dont know. Maybe. I can feel it waking me up from my sheltered life.

But i am still the same old Faith. The one who misses Starbucks and Chai Tea lattes. The one who feels deprive of a body massage lathered with oil and tea light candles. The one who peeks over at the other side of the rainbow eager to know what a kind of a mother ill she turn out to be. Would i be like my mom or like my mother in law? Would i be the cool one or the strict one. I Dont Know. Maybe someday soon, i will know.

Oh and yeah, the problem here is with Christmas fast approaching i cant go to Divisoria to buy you guys Christmas presents since RooRoo would be coming to town as well. Hope you guys would take a Raincheck on that and presents would be handed over after Three Kings (that is i can go malling by that time).