Roo has been having occupational therapy for the last 5 months and i know and accept now that he has Autism. Its so hard for a parent more so a pregnant mother to learn this as it might affect the baby in my tummy but i need to vent this out so that in the end acceptance would follow.

I have been battling this never ending feeling of denial, anger, hate and acceptance again and again but i need to snap out it because its my son that needs attention and not me.

Im trying to let my close friends now about it slowly so that they too can accept my boy for who he is.

Im praying that he will be guided in life and that its not too late for him to adjust in this world.

Im so grateful that i have a husband who is so supportive and brave because there always is a time where i am weak and unsure of myself. A mom who believes that early intervention will help a lot and friends who supports us emotionally.

Lord, i understand now that my mission is to take care of Roo and my family.
Nothing is impossible.

God’s Whisper
~ A poem by Jeannie Castillo,
for her son -- Jamie ~

When you came, I heard God whisper,
“Take care of this little one.
He’s one of my special spirits
Accept him as your son.

He may need some extra attention
Some added patience and some time
But he’ll grow into a beautiful person
With your love, he’ll be just fine.

You’ll see that he will surprise you
He’ll amaze you with his soul
He’ll bring you joy and endless wonder
In his way, he’ll make you whole.

For every smile will be a miracle
Each new step, a victory
His growth will be blessed and meaningful
His life is a gift from Me.

This angel is your reminder
Of what is pure and what is true
It’s not what the world says that matters
What matters is all up to you.

You are the one who will teach him
That he is perfect in My eyes
With Me, he can move mountains
He can do anything, he need only try.

For this child has a magnificent spirit
He was meant to do wonderful things
His life has a special mission
I will raise him on eagle’s wings

To soar high and live life fully
To sing and laugh and love
So you must raise him with warmth and tenderness,
With Me, you’ll have enough.

Now always remember this message,
Be brave and strong and true
Know that I am with you
Remember that I chose you.

I chose you for this mission.
This is your gift to Me.
Take care of him well and let him be loved,
For when you love him . . . you love Me.”

~~~

November 2001
© R.H. Castillo

Labels: autism, roo